Are our kids losing the art of conversation?

Raising a Generation in a Digital World

We’ve all seen it: children glued to iPads at the dinner table, teenagers with their heads buried in phones, conversations replaced with emojis and abbreviations. Technology has become deeply ingrained in our lives - and for our children, it’s all they’ve ever known.

But as devices become smarter, are we raising a generation that’s becoming socially less so? On a personal level, with 3 young boys, and 2 of them teenagers, its a topic that generally worries me - especially when the art of communicating effectively is something I live my career by.

The Digital Dilemma

Let’s be clear: technology isn’t the enemy. Let's face it, without it you wouldn't be reading this! As much as my household roll their eyes when the subject turns to it, and I'm making my kids hand their phones over so we can engage in some family time - It’s brought convenience, connectivity, and creativity to our fingertips. Today’s kids are more tech-savvy than any generation before them. But with this shift, there’s an uncomfortable question rising to the surface:

Are we sacrificing social skills in the process?

More and more, we see young people struggling to make eye contact, start conversations, or even navigate face-to-face interactions without discomfort or anxiety.

On two separate occasions now I have dropped my eldest at school, where he waits in the car until one of his mates pulls up behind us, only to both walk on, totally ignoring each other, heads in their screens. What is the point?? Social situations that were once standard - like answering a phone call, introducing oneself, or resolving conflict - now feel overwhelming to many, and that is ever increasing.

Communication: A Life Skill, Not a Given

Communication isn’t just about talking. It’s about listening, empathy, body language, tone, timing - all the subtle, powerful tools we use to build trust, resolve issues, and connect with others. These are skills that need practice and presence, not just screen time.

When much of their interaction is filtered through a screen, many kids aren’t learning how to “read the room,” regulate their tone, or interpret emotional nuance. Even text-heavy communication strips away the richness of in-person connection.

A Culture of Avoidance?

One worrying trend is the growing fear or aversion to real-time communication. Some young people now avoid face-to-face interactions or even phone calls altogether, choosing to text or DM instead. It feels safer. Controlled. Less risky. But in doing so, they miss the messiness - and the magic - of authentic human interaction.

And when the inevitable uncomfortable situations come (an interview, a disagreement, a group project, a difficult conversation), they’re left without the tools or confidence to handle it.

What Can We Do?

This isn’t about banning screens or turning back time, though trust me, sometimes I wish I could. It’s about balance and intentionality. Here are a few small steps with big impact:

• Model it: Let your kids see you having real conversations - making eye contact, listening actively, disagreeing respectfully. I disregard my phone at any given opportunity and Rich and I actively encourage conversation starters to get our boys engaged and communicating.

• Create screen-free spaces: Dinner time, car rides, or even certain hours of the day can be designated for human connection. We very much limit screens when we are together as a family. None of the boys have devices in their rooms, we don't allow their phones in their rooms at night and though they have a Play station, the only games they are allowed are non-fighting games and played as a group or the whole family - still for a limited time. This all means they rarely ask for it and I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I've seen them play. We're big fans of the old board games in our house!

• Encourage real-life experiences: Sports teams, drama groups, volunteering, or even simple hangouts where phones stay in pockets can build confidence. Get them outside!! Even the fresh air does wonders but kids should be kids and we survived without phones. Let them use their creative minds, which are stilted when they're reliant on devices.

• Teach emotional literacy: Help kids name and express their feelings, understand others', and navigate conflict with compassion. This doesn't have to be heavy conversations, but they should recognise the impact of their actions - even in the written word. It's easy to hide behind a keyboard, but words can be just as powerful on a screen and you need to see how your message lands if you want your desired result. None of us want to see our kids become the school bully, ignorant to the long term damage to others of what they do.

• Talk about tech: Don’t demonise it - but have open conversations about how it affects relationships, self-image, and connection. It's important kids know we aren't just being fun sponge's. There's a strong reason why mental health issues are on the up, particularly in boys and tech can be a big contributing factor. It's our job to raise magical little humans so we need to teach them the dangers and risks and let them learn to make their own call when they are old enough to.

Raising Confident Communicators

It’s not about being anti-tech. It’s about being pro-connection.

We need to raise a generation that can look someone in the eye, hold a conversation, make a friend, speak up for themselves, hold down a relationship, successfully interview and navigate the world with confidence. That starts with us - creating environments where these skills are practiced, celebrated, and seen as just as essential as academic or digital literacy.

Because in a world that’s more connected than ever, real connection is becoming the rarest skill of all

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